Monday, July 29, 2024

A Boy And His Cat Come Home


Yeah - these two jokers

If you've known me for a little bit on Facebook, you probably also know Catney and Laney - the faux buddy private investigation TV series told in the form of TV GUIDE-style episode blurbs that began back in 2019 and went on for about five years. Quietly after the end of season five (and a heck of a season finale), owing to Buster's advancing age and health challenges, we let the series go. Buster's 18 now. He has a bum thyroid, arthritic hips, the start of cataracts, and while not stone deaf is closing in on it (we noticed on July 4th that only the bunker busters one jackhole was lighting off somewhere adjacent to our house seemed to bother the cat; he basically slept through the rest of the fireworks). In the last couple of years, he's also grown less tolerant of having his picture taken, making it harder to get a pool of quality shots. 

Totally fake book cover

But Catney and Laney has never been far from my mind - the peril of living with your co-star - and back on April Fools Day, with a full head of steam, I played a prank on Facebook. I posted this photo, adorned with obligatory marketing hype:

COMING IN 2024: THE CATNEY AND LANEY COMPANION!

    A lavishly illustrated book with all the episodes (including a 'lost' one)! Script excerpts! Behind the scenes info! Spoilers! Trivia! Related media! Other stuff! With a foreword by Buster 'Catney' Lane.

There was at least one unhappy lament noting the day on which the news was being shared, and several others who I'm pretty sure were playing along with the joke.

There's just one thing: the joke was that the book was an actual book. Which is why I'm pleased to shout loudly in this space: COMING IN SEPTEMBER!

THE CATNEY AND LANEY COMPANION is your complete guide to this weird, wonderful nonexistent TV series of the mind built on the backs of photos of a guy and a cat. It charmed dozens of viewers, was saved by a letter-writing campaign, and featured a who's who of guest stars that no actual budget could have ever pulled off.

                 Totally real book cover                 
This nearly 200 page book includes:

- All 101 CATNEY AND LANEY photos and episode blurbs, including an unreleased episode, every promo, PSA, and bit of whimsy we could still find, plus an introduction to how the series came to be (and what the hell it even is.)

- Information about each episode, including behind the scenes glimpses, trivia, and occasional spoilers

- Script excerpts for multiple episodes, including the full conclusions to the first season and series finales

- The Catney and Laney short story "The Mockingbird Who Knew Too Much"

- The stories behind the Season 3 letter writing campaign and the rare giveaway, THE CATNEY AND LANEY PROGRAM GUIDE

- An original foreword by Buster Lane

Part meditation on TV culture, part riff on TV listings of yore, part big, lovey hug to a geriatric cat who oozes personality, and all parody, this was the book I had to compile to get it into the hands of our fans and out of my system. Besides, who knows how long you want to hang around Facebook for reruns? 

Available exclusively through my website and expected to ship in September, THE CATNEY AND LANEY COMPANION will be available for pre-order on AUGUST 12 in the web store at www.douglasjlane.com/buy in trade paperback for $20 plus shipping. (There was also going to be a prestigious, self-important case wrap hardcover, but the initial sample felt... wrong. Maybe even a bit snooty. It's hard to quantify, but it was abandoned in the proofing stage.) 

While I like to do bonus bits for pre-sale buyers, I'm not sure there's going to be one for this release. I mean, I have ideas but time and effort are always a factor. Either way, there will be further web announcements when the presale opens.

So if you enjoyed following along with the imaginary adventures of two of my favorite characters, I think this makes a nice keepsake. If you didn’t have the chance, this is a great time to bring the boys home and enjoy things at your leisure. And if you try it and don’t enjoy it, slip it into a little library in your neighborhood. 

It’s bound to amuse - or confuse - someone. Catney would surely approve.


Tuesday, July 16, 2024

High-Speed Piercings and Other Cosmetic Matters

You make a conscious effort to keep the peanut butter of politics out of the chocolate of your blog, and then along comes Old Man Reese with an assassination attempt. 


I initially wrote several hundred words on Donald Trump’s new piercing, how his love of the language of violence over a decade helped create an environment where his head was almost ventilated to the summer sky, and how the faux shock and pearl-clutching over how, HOW this could have happened will evaporate in denigration and more calls for 'retribution' before the end of the GOP convention this week - but it doesn't really matter. Trump’s near-death experience, while the wrong way to go about political disagreements, changes not one position of anyone involved in this race. The GOP will call for unity, but what they want is capitulation to a straight, white, Christian United States, where no one else has rights or a voice; the Democrats will still fail to connect despite any achievement they might have made in four years because critical thinking is largely dead in this country; and I just don't goddamn care anymore. I have one vote, and an AR-15 detailing doesn't change my mind about the GOP candidate. I’d sooner vote for a razor blade enema than for Felon Van Gogh, so make mine Joe in 2024. Still. And my passport renewal will be here before election day, just in case.

* * *

After many, many months of laying fallow, my website is poised for an upgrade. Yeah - I'm keeping a website for now. I won't get to TikTok until the next generation has VR implants. Same basic look for the website, but better, almost 21st-century functionality. For instance, this blog is now writer-friendly because it’s site-adjacent versus the fifteen steps to post a blog of the site, which will continue helping me keep me hit a once-a-week deadline.

The online bookstore ordering system is also becoming a true cart-based system. If you purchased SHADY ACRES AND DARKER PLACES or HUNDRED ACRE from me previously, you know it was more convoluted than the average comic book universe - you send an order form, I send an invoice, you send a payment, I send a confirmation, I ship a book - it was only marginally better than asking you to send six box tops. Blame PayPal, which screwed a bunch of small sellers by eliminating simple buttons in favor of something needing a software developers kit and someone with an IT degree to function. Anyway, we’ve reduced the steps by 50%. We also now have the ability to add new items more easily, which opens the door to selling used books of ill repute from our shelves through the website (and maybe eliminate the 16% eBay takes for doing fudge-all as a selling platform in the process.) There will be a very small selection of nicely curated bits when the new site goes live in August.

The cart also arrives just in time for a BRAND NEW BOOK to go up for sale… but it’s not time to tell you about that just yet. Soon. Maybe even next week. But not quite yet. 

There will also be a more regular return to Free Fiction Friday in the not-too-distant future, as I get my arms around some things from the archives, including a piece from the late eighties that’s… electorally pertinent today.

As part of the overall streamlining, a couple of web pages have vanished. The Midnight-To-Three Publishing website, which never really got the time it deserved and never returned from its 2019 hiatus,  has ended as an independent entity and is now a sub-page to my personal website. One less URL to endlessly renew, and it was my own press imprint anyway, so it may get more attention in its new home. And shortly, the web page for Original Idea Films - which hosted several digital short films I made with Bernie and my movie-making cohort back in New York over a number of years - will be folding up its tent after a couple of decades online. No links - you can Google if you want to see primitive formats of even more primitive cinematography while they're still online. There’s still no idea where the films will wind up.

August. No date yet, but keep watching the skies.


Coming 7/23 - A Boy And His Cat Come Home

Monday, July 8, 2024

A Face In The Crowd

[An alignment of dates and events made it opportune to revisit and expand a piece that originally appeared on Facebook in 2020: the day after tomorrow would have been my Dad's 79th birthday; next month will mark the 50th anniversary of the 1974 Baseball Hall of Fame induction ceremony at the heart of the piece; and we're coming into the All-Star break for this MLB season. Seems like a good time to swing for the fences with a story about serendipity, geometry, baseball fandom, and photography, though not necessarily in that order.]


I happened to call home from Virginia that afternoon, sometime in the mid-nineties but before the house on Prospect Avenue was sold, and caught my mother with a full head of steam. She was cleaning out the library; more specifically, the sixteen narrow drawers below the built-in bookcases that had been accumulating things for a decade. 

The family photo negatives occupied a couple of those built-in drawers, a disorganized free-flow of envelopes and holders reaching back to the early sixties. We’d occasionally had reason to call on that drawer, but it was in no way an organized archive. If you wanted to find something, it was more a safari with a magnifying glass. Because I groove on history and engage in amateur photography when I’m not doing twenty other things, I asked: “What are you doing with the negatives?”

“Those? They’re in a bag sitting on top of the garbage.”

I might have had a mild infarct. “No they’re not. They’re sitting off to the side, where you put them so I can pick them up the next time I come home.”

She agreed to do so, but was puzzled why I’d want them. To her, the film had been processed, photos were in-hand, and she hadn’t done anything with the negatives in years. To here, there was no sense in keeping them. I’m sure part of that was also a 'cleaning out the past' effect of the divorce; my sister had to similarly rescue my parents’ wedding album from the trash. 

On my next visit, I retrieved the brown grocery bag into which she’d put the jumble of film envelopes, I carried it back to Virginia, and… it sat. Sure, the old negatives got their own tote so they could be better stored, and I sifted through them one year to have new prints made for an album for my father for his birthday, since the family photo albums went with Ma when they split. Otherwise, five decades of transparent celluloid waited quietly in the dark in a succession of closets in Virginia, Maryland, and Texas until 2018, when I finally overcame inertia and procrastination. When I priced out how much it would cost to have them transferred by a professional, I had another photo-related infarct, discussed a flatbed scanner with my wife, and finally began the task of scanning over 4,000 family negatives - frame after frame of Kodak 126, 127, 110, and disc images, plus a few larger formats and a tray of my grandfather’s slides from the fifties that somehow escaped a previous purge. 

The scanner paid for itself by frame 223.

The negatives were - and remain - completely scrambled from years of shuffling in that drawer. Scanning them was a little like time travel: it’s the late sixties and my third birthday, and then BAM it’s Christmas 1983 and then BAM it's Thanksgiving at Grandma's on Sunrise Avenue in the mid-seventies. Science fiction makes you forgiving with bouncing around time, but reconstructing the original sets was a puzzle I wasn't inclined to tackle. I scanned, I assigned a locator type file name, I moved on. Leave something for a lazy day.

During the scanning, a particular set of negatives - scattered across three envelopes - caught my eye as a Yankees fan, as the guy who volunteered to digitize 50-odd years of family history, and as my father’s son. And it led to the sort of treasure that you hope to find when you pull out the pickaxes and start digging.

*   

In 1951, my father was six years old. (That's him in front on the right, with his siblings in 1950). That was the year Mickey Mantle played his first 96 games for the New York Yankees. Mantle was nineteen and would develop into a life-long Yankee; my father, into a life-long Yankees fan. In that regard, they spent their formative years together. Mantle retired after the 1968 season. Eighteen years in the big leagues, three-time MVP, all-star in all but two seasons, 536 home runs, 2,415 hits, a part of seven Yankees world champion teams. He also got at least three books out of the deal.

My father probably could have told you those stats without blinking an eye. He loved Mantle. So did the baseball writers, which is why the Mick got into the Hall in his first year on the ballot in 1974. Whitey Ford, his Yankees teammate, was the other player of then-recent eligibility to make it in. In retrospect, there was no reason for my father - then 29 - to NOT schedule the time off from his job with the state police and make the 80-mile drive to Cooperstown for the ceremony. He’d followed these guys his entire life, and 160 miles round-trip was like going around the block for him.

The ceremony was held on August 12, 1974 outside the Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum's east facade in Cooper Park, named for James Fenimore Cooper, a statue of whom stands at the park’s center. That afternoon, the Cooper statue was protected by a raised platform upon which media perched. Ticketed attendees (typically dignitaries, HOF members or donors, and other invited guests) sat in rows of chairs in a semi-circle between the podium and the platform. Standing room general admission attendees were fenced off behind the seats, with a healthy aisle between them and the seats, so invited guests could come and go unfettered.

In all, my father shot 18 frames of Kodak 126 color film that day, mostly of the induction ceremony from his place in the general admission pen, plus a couple of the Braves/White Sox Hall of Fame game afterwards. The pictures weren't a surprise - we’d all seen a couple of prints in a family album. My father got there early, if his position - just to the right of the platform, up near the fence and with a clear view of the podium - is any indication. He was by no means alone. The crowd of 2,500 fans was a record at the time. Twenty-one previously inducted Hall of Famers were also on hand.

The photo quality is what you might expect at that distance with a 126. You can pick out Mantle, Ford, and Cool Papa Bell (inducted from the Negro Leagues) if you know what they were wearing. The best photo in the lot is actually an impromptu candid - holy cow! - of Phil Rizzuto arriving before the ceremony, walking the back aisle, arm poised to wave to the standing room crowd. Even that photo has the back of someone's head in it.

As mentioned, my father carried bushels of sports minutiae in his head. He probably could have told you which 21 Hall of Famers attended the ceremony. I squandered this genetic capacity for fine details on books and music. As a result, when I went to write a wrap-around for posting some of the photos to Facebook, I took to the Internet to get the facts and figures about the event straight. While ferreting out those bits and pieces, I stumbled across a photo on one several Hall of Fame website pages discussing the 1974 induction ceremony. The page is gone now (Lane’s Internet Research Rule #5: If you find it, save it, because it will vanish like Brigadoon if you don’t) but it included in its discussion of Cool Papa Bell’s induction an uncredited photograph from the museum's holdings. Taken from the front of the Hall of Fame's member and VIP seating, it looks outward to capture the crowd. While the webpage is gone, a cached copy suggests it might be a picture of a picture, one with the sort of image artifacts suggesting the original source was printed, perhaps on paper or canvas, and that was photographed to produce the Hall of Fame’s image.

 Credit: National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum

It's a sea of baseball-loving humanity, and it got me wondering if I could spot my father bobbing somewhere out there. One feature immediately struck me as familiar: the photographers on the platform. There's one in a blue shirt and jeans, standing and taking pictures. Nearby, a second photographer in loud plaid pants waits for the ceremony to begin. 
 
The photographer in blue is in most of my father's shots, but there's only one frame in which he's standing taking pictures. That same frame is also the only one to contain the photographer in the plaid pants, almost off the left edge and behind someone's head. Both are in similar poses to the Hall of Fame crowd photo, close enough to suggest the two images weren’t taken far apart in time. 

This led me to consider the heads in the foreground. As a rule, people in general admission who are up front and have a prime view of the proceedings are loathe to move when they’re settled. My father certainly didn't. In many of his shots, an older man with thinning white hair is nearly in front of him. Occasionally to that man’s left another man is visible, taller and with sunglasses. 
 
Both men are visible in the frame that includes the two standing photographers. This made them the human equivalent of a forty-foot-tall red neon arrow with a sign saying "Look here!" They weren't very heard to spot given the clues.
 
 
When I found them, I very quickly noticed a man in a red shirt between them… 


...who I'm pretty sure is my dad, age 29, watching a couple of his sports heroes get inducted into the Hall of Fame, camera at the ready (that dark splotch at the shoulder of the man on the right).
 
This is why you study geometry. This, and to reliably hustle people at 9-Ball.
 
In the wake of figuring out that my dad was in a photo in the collection of the Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum - which I'm certain he never knew, but it would have tickled him no end - I felt it incumbent on me to reach out to learn what the museum could tell me about their image. Was it on display in the Hall? Was there a higher-quality version in the museum’s collection? Did they know who the photographer was? The goal was to see if there was an even better version to be found.
 
My multi-prong inquiry received a dead-end reply from the Hall’s Coordinator of Rights and Reproductions that, excluding a salutation and signature, read en toto:



“Sorry to say I am not going to help very much.  The photo was a very small photo and it doesn’t blow up well as you can see.”

One imagines the Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum is a lot like the warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, and would have six kinds of documentation tracking for its artifacts. And it does, though a picture of a picture used on a web page (since removed) of an event in 1974 is subject to less historical attention than a photo of Hank Aaron’s 3000th hit baseball or Cal Ripken’s cleats. And while it should probably be that way, knowledge gaps are still bothersome when one is in Albert Popwell mode. I've been in enough blind research alleys to recognize one. If the Hall’s Coordinator of Rights and Reproductions can’t tell me whose work it is, who would know the photographer's identity at this point?   

There are threads to pull. It looks like a photo of a printed photo. Magazine? Maybe. A Sports Illustrated image would surely have a credit, but SI was just one outlet. It's unlikely it was a newspaper, being a color photo, but you never know. Being from the front of the VIP seating, it could be something a member took and sent along. Whatever the answer, I’d wager that fifty years on the Hall's image is the best version still remaining, and the original negative is most likely gone. Especially when I consider the only reason I can even prove my father is in the crowd is because I had the negatives of his corresponding photos - and they were only spared from the landfill by a serendipitous phone call thirty years ago. 

It doesn't mean I won't look. I just obtained a photo of a trial jury from almost a century ago (for a side project) that I didn't know existed until about sixty seconds before I bought it (LLIR #2: Strike like a cobra when you find 'the thing'), so I never say never. I'd like to believe it'll turn up when I most need to see it more clearly.

The universe has always been a little funny that way.






Coming 7/16: A Peek Under The Hood

Tuesday, July 2, 2024

The Shape of Blog To Come

Having spent some time working out the specifics and mechanics of the forthcoming website update, pondering how I want to use the store and how all the pieces fit, I figured it was time to lay some track for the blog portion of the project, figure out how the train is going to run, and get it out of the station.

First decision: fresh blog every Twitchday (that's Tuesday, unless you've lived it in its Mister Hyde guise; you know who you are.) I was originally considering two-a-weeks, but that sounded like setting myself up for a high dive into a pile of blackberry canes, and between the site, the blog, the social media jots, the non-social writing, the non-writing living, and so on it sounded overly ambitious after I sat on it for a few days. As for dropping entries on Tuesday, it gives me the weekend to sew things up, it won't conflict with Free Fiction Friday should that return, and it helps restore the second day of the week to a more civil and hopefully enjoyable position in the week. #takingbacktwitchday

Second: what will the blog be about? Whatever interests me to write. The primary idea is to build back some writing discipline. A lot of blogs pick a theme and run in a straight line with it - they cook a cookbook, they visit Frank Lloyd Wright houses, they dig into the minutiae of a band, a film series, a toy line. Nothing wrong with that. And you may find me dabbling in such things; I have a shortbread recipe I'm itching to share. But if you know me, you know I'm a storyteller first, so my primary aim is to tell you a story, with some secondary explorations sharing information or passing along stuff I learn or cool things I encounter along the way. As an example, while my grandmother used the expression "crazy as a red-assed bee" she never prepared me for my first-ever sighting a couple days ago of a green-headed one - specifically, the green-headed sweat bee, here posing on the first of the sunflower blooms in the garden. There are some 42 species in the genus Agapostemon, which makes me wonder if Douglas Adams made them up. It seems like something he'd do. Ironically, the green-headed sweat bee isn't actually attracted to human sweat, despite the name. (File under: Drive on the parkway, park in the driveway.)

The first two months' worth of blog entries have been placed on a schedule (gasp! shock!) so I can keep track of where I am. First up will be a timely revisit of a piece that originally appeared on Facebook, embiggened for its appearance here. Forthcoming weeks will include an introduction to the new website store, a look back at Year One in this new old house, a snapshot of an historical piece of ephemera, a revisit of a pair of improbable found diaries (with a new coda), and a very special book announcement. 

While I contemplated moving some ongoing post series from Facebook to here - such as the home renovation updates of The Nail-Gun Follies or the negative scan-and-story posts of The 35mm Archive - for now they're going to stay a part of Zuckerberg's Monster in my friends-locked list. But I will leverage the Book o' the Face for prompts when a new blog goes live, primarily in the Doug Lane Writes public account, with my personal as a secondary. It never hurt to outline a large auditorium when seeking an audience.

And lastly, my desire is to keep the blog politics free, but...

To be real: I'm not going to convince anyone who feels differently than I do with any of my political opinions, at which point voicing them becomes an exercise in talking in a circle with other like-minded people, which just burns cycles and pisses us all off. But I say "my desire" because we live in perilous times, and I'm opposed to the destruction of our representative democracy by those who would put their false idol above the law and onto a throne, and I reserve the right to speak up about it. There's no plan or intent to make such posts a regular feature, because that's not what I want this space for, and I still have Facebook and other places for that sort of thing. Still: my house, my rules, and all policy is subject to change. If you don't like it, leaving is as free as walking in was.

That's the quick and dirty intro to at least the next few weeks. Maybe it lasts, maybe it fizzles, but either way, I hope to see you around the playground!

 

Coming 7/9: Of Birthdays and Baseballs